Uninvited:Test Your Etiquette

Every bride has been faced with some sort of etiquette challenge at one point or another. Handling it is half the battle, but tackling it appropriately is quite another. So what is a bride to do when someone actually RSPVs to a wedding they weren't originially invited to? We've got you covered!

First: don't dodge

Clearly, there's been a misunderstanding. There are very few people who are rude enough that they bully their way into your wedding by RSVPing when they weren't invited. Not saying that there aren't folks like that, of course — but chances are pretty good that somehow this person really did think they were invited, likely because of something a family member or friend said to them.

The worst thing you can do when there's been a misunderstanding is propagate it by not being up-front in how you deal with it. Yes, it's going to suck, but you can't put it off. When you hear from Aunt Madge that she's coming to the wedding you didn't invite her to, you need to address the situation quickly and directly. Don't put it off, and don't use platitudes.

Second: stand your ground

Be genuine, but be firm. Here's an example of something you could say:

"Oh, no! I'm so sorry: there's clearly been a miscommunication. Due to budget/venue size/whatever limitations, we're keeping the guestlist quite small. This means we just can't invite everyone we'd like, as much as we'd love to — we do not have room for you on the guestlist. I'm so terribly sorry that we can't extend an invitation, and even more sorry about this miscommunication. I hope you can understand."

You can also try genuinely expressing your surprise. Own up the awkwardness of the situation, while also standing firm: THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.

"Oh my goodness, this is catching me off-guard! This is awkward and difficult, and I'm so sorry to have to say this, but we don't have space on our limited guestlist for all the family and friends we'd love to have there — we aren't able to invite you to the wedding. I'm so sorry — I feel just awful about this situation, and I wish there's something I could do, but the venue size/catering arrangements/whatever are fixed, and I'm afraid it's just not going to work. I hope you can understand."

Third: be gracious and appreciative

Remember that these people want to come to your wedding because, well, THEY PROBABLY LOVE YOU. Sure, sometimes there are weird family power dynamics at play that have nothing to do with you, but ultimately, these people are people who care about you — and who presumably you care about, too.
Find as many ways as possible to be loving, appreciative, and gracious in your conversation. Repeating, "It means so much to both of us that you want to be at the wedding" and "It's so disappointing that this won't work out — I'm so glad you got in touch" can go a long way towards softening the blow of what boils down to, "You can't come."

*Have you ever had to tell someone that they weren't invited to your wedding? How did you do it and how did the "uninvited" take it?

Love,

The Emily Weddings Team



Article courtesy of: Offbeat Bride

"Forever Hold Your Peace"

Weddings are an absolute exciting time for family and friends to get together and celebrate the beginning of a new life. You would think the room would be filled with well wishes and sincere joy for the newlyweds, but believe it or not we know of a few "whoops" moments where guests have said too much. Be a respectful and modest guest by avoiding these conversational faux pas.

Courtesy of the Knot:

"This must have cost you a fortune!"

The way celebrities' wedding costs are blasted all over the news can make it seem like it's appropriate to put a price tag on the dress, the cake, and everything in between. But money is often a sticky subject for brides and grooms who don't have a millionaire's budget, so it's better to keep mum. And just ignore that old "pay for your plate" rule -- it's more appropriate to choose a wedding gift that reflects the closeness of your relationship to the couple than the cost of your reception meal.

"So baby comes next, right?"

We know, we know -- first comes love, then comes marriage. But you know what? Next comes whatever the bride and groom want, which may be buying a home, working toward a big promotion, or something else entirely. Everyone's got their own schedule and life goals, which may or may not include the pitter-patter of little feet. Most brides and grooms are already pretty overwhelmed by the wedding planning, so the last thing they want to talk about is making another big life change.

"I can't believe you're settling down! I remember when..."

Just because you remember the bride when she was a total wild child or can provide the story behind the groom's fraternity nickname doesn't mean you should. This goes double for any conversation you have with other wedding guests who know the bride or groom from a different time in their lives (for example, a coworker or an older relative). Yes, they might still be the crazy kids you remember -- but given the formality of the day (not to mention the many relatives likely on the guest list), it's not the best time to air out their dirty laundry.

"Can you help me with...?"

When you're at a wedding, it's pretty easy to look to the bride and groom as the ones who are in charge and running the show -- after all, it's their big day. For the same reason though, they're going to be pretty busy (and by "pretty busy," we mean "really busy"). If you've got some minor issue -- the caterers brought you the wrong entree, or you think some of the seating should be switched -- don't take it to the bride and groom. Instead, talk to the wedding planner or coordinator, one of the caterers, or, if you really feel it's something the bride or groom needs to deal with personally, one of the bridesmaids or groomsmen who can pass along the message. The bride and groom already have a lot on their plates, so it's important to respect the difference between an actual emergency and what just seems like one at the time.

"Why wasn't so-and-so invited?"

Word to the wise: If you notice that someone you thought would be at the wedding isn't there, there's usually a reason. Option A is that their RSVP said they couldn't make it, but Option B is that there's a distinct reason they were left off the guest list. Either way, the most tactful approach is to keep mum about it. If the bride and groom have chosen not to include a family member or friend, chances are there was at least one long conversation that went into making that decision -- and the wedding day is definitely not the time to bring it up.

"Wow, when you think about how many couples divorce..."

Today of all days, the D-word is off limits. No matter what you might think about statistics, or the bride's or groom's past or family life, or your own experiences, just don't go there. Instead of focusing on the negative, think about the positive -- yes, in spite of the odds, these two people are genuinely committed to each other and are making a public vow saying so! Don't they deserve only your best wishes?

"Tonight's going to be a big night for you, huh?"

Please, no speculation about the bride and groom's after-hours activities. If you want to talk about what a big night it is, focus on what's already happening -- the fabulous food, the killer band, the great time all the guests are having. Lose the innuendo and congratulate the bride and groom on pulling off an amazing wedding.

Love,

The Emily Weddings Team

Hurricane Irene made its presence known to practically everyone along the East coast. Now that she's gone and sunny skies have emerged, we here at Emily Weddings can't help but count our lucky stars that we did not have any weddings this past weekend. But believe it or not, there were weddings that did in fact take place during this crazy weekend, even if Hurricane Irene threatened to postpone it all.

Meet Erica Sternin Weiss. This bride was faced with the ultimate wedding nightmare. She and her now husband, Brett Weiss, had the ultimate face-off with Irene herself and made some worthwhile and game changing decisions just hours before Irene was expected to make landfall. After realizing that their Saturday wedding in New Rochelle, NY would not be taking place, the couple made a last minute decision. They had a rehearsal dinner planned for Friday night at Elmwood Country Club in White Plains, NY, and managed to coordinate with the club to be married that night! Within hours, they managed to find an officiant and called all guests to attend. With a makeshift bouquet of hydrangeas and music playing from a laptop, Erica made her way down the aisle and began the festivities of her perfect wedding day.



Inclement weather can have drastic effects on any special event or wedding. It's important to always have a back-up plan in case weather threatens to postpone your event. When choosing a wedding date, be mindful of any associated weather that comes with the season. If you live in the southeast, consider the chance of hurricanes. And if you live in the north, then you're already aware of the issues that can arise from snow storms. Always be prepared and consider the 'what-ifs". See our post on Wedding Insurance.

**Do you know of someone whose wedding was almost cancelled altogether due to weather? How did they, or their planners, continue to keep the event as scheduled?

Love,

The Emily Weddings Team

The Flower 411

For many brides, choosing flowers may seem like the most exciting and interesting part of the entire wedding planning process. Bridal magazines often feature gorgeous, lush bridal bouquets of exotic flowers. The important thing to remember, brides, is that along with beauty and price, sustainability and practicality are important characteristics to keep in mind when choosing flowers for your wedding.

Sustainability 

What exactly does this mean? Flowers come in all shapes, sizes, colors and strengths, yes, strengths. Part of the beauty for some flowers is their delicate structures. Considering the strength and structure of a particular flower is important when deciding whether or not to include it in your bouquet or any floral arrangement. The last thing you want is a wilting, or even worse, broken or destroyed bouquet of flowers (and the ceremony may not have even started yet!) Orchids are a great example of fragile flowers who, while very beautiful in a bouquet, may not make it through the night. Flowers like calla lilies and roses are strong and durable and will most definitely last.




Fragrance

Fragrance of a particular flower is also extremely important when choosing your wedding flowers. A person's sense of smell often times plays a role in their opinions and decision making. While you may think Gardenias smell absolutely wonderful in a small arrangement, it's fragrance may be too powerful or overwhelming when used throughout centerpieces and bouquets. In all honesty, it is possible to become sick from an overpowering scent, and you don't want your guests to fall victim to that.

Price

Price is always at the top of the priority list when it comes to designing bouquets. One simple tip- stick to seasonal flowers. There are so many beautiful blooms throughout every season that you are sure to find a handful that will compliment your bouquet. Especially if your wedding coincides with the current season, choosing seasonal flowers will make for a more cohesive design. Not sure what flowers are in season when? Ask your florist when consulting design options with them or you can look here!

**Are you planning on using seasonal flowers to save money?

Love,

The Emily Weddings Team

Photo Credits:

1.Blooms for Business

2. Danisa Flowers

3. LoveToKnow Weddings

DIY Friday: Preserving Your Top Wedding Cake Tier

The age old tradition of preserving the top tier of your wedding cake for the first anniversary is one many couples still follow. What many don't know, is that there are variables when it comes to preserving different kinds of cake as well as alternatives.

It is important to know what the shelf life of your wedding cake is. Cakes which consist of heavier items like chocolate, carrot cake, and almond often times have a longer shelf life and will fair well in the freezer. Cakes with fresh fruit, whipped cream filling or fluffy white cakes will not last a year in the freezer. When choosing your cake flavors, consult with your baker on "freezer worthy" options if you are considering saving the top tier for your anniversary.

Some bakeries even suggest ordering a cop-cat cake for a couple's one-year anniversary. This alternative is perfect for a bride and groom whose cake will just not hold up in the freezer. This fresh copy-cat cake will be the exact same flavor as the wedding cake, allowing you to once again enjoy your cake as you remembered it, not freezer burned and stale.

                  "Sylvia Weinstock, of Sylvia Weinstock Cakes in New York, recommends storing cakes for no  longer than two months, and forgoing the first-anniversary tradition."      

-The Knot

If you do decide to be a bit nostalgic and save the original top tier of your wedding cake, here are some guidelines to follow to properly preserve your cake:

1. Remove the sugar flowers and set them aside.
2. Chill the cake well before wrapping it up so that the icing hardens. This way it won't stick to the plastic wrap and make a mess.
3. Wrap the (unadorned) cake in several layers of plastic wrap -- not aluminum foil, which can cause freezer burn.
4. Seal the wrapped cake in an air-tight bag and place it in the freezer.
5. Snag a ribbon (from your bouquet, the centerpieces, your hair, a gift) and tie it around the cake package to mark it so that you don't mistake it for anything else.

 

**Important Tip: Try not to expose your cake too much by opening it up in the freezer. The more often you do, the less fresh it will be on your anniverary.**

{Courtesy of the Knot}

**What do you think about the tradition of saving the top tier? Are you planning on saving your top tier?

Love,

The Emily Weddings Team

Photo Credits:

1. Third Eye Photo

2. Moments of Elegance

3. Wedding Wire

Honeymooning on a Budget

For the bride on a budget, you may have already found crafty ways to save money on your upcoming wedding. Whether you're taking on DIY projects or just plain going without, there's another way to save money on your wedding festivities all around. While most newlyweds venture off on a honeymoon, few consider their trip into the budget. We say, "Why Not?" If you and your hubby are considering a honeymoon but you're not quite sure how to pay for it, there are ways to save money without skimping.

Honeymoon Registry

Yes! you can register for you honeymoon! Sites such as Honeymoon Wishes, and The Honeymoon are set up specifically for couples to "register" for their honeymoon of choice. Instead of coffee makers and glassware, give your guests the opportunity to contribute to your perfect honeymoon getaway. Guests can search these sites for your registry and put money towards your trip is a gift. In addition, there are no set-up fees, and the site will even keep track of who has contributed to your honeymoon so you can write thank you cards.

Groupon Getaways

Most of us are familiar with Groupon and the many outstanding offers they advertise on their site. Recently, members can sign up to receive Groupon Getaways which include vacation deals so cheap, you just can't help but purchase them! These deals include vacation packages all over the world from all-inclusive resorts to amazing 5-star hotels! Not sure where to honeymoon? Leave it up to chance! Be spontaneous! Let the deals on Groupon influence you with their hard to resist prices!

Ask Questions...

Have you already booked your honeymoon or you've already decided exactly where you want to go? It helps to ask questions when booking or upon arrival. Believe it or not, some hotels and resorts offer discounts and deals to newlyweds! They won't advertise these deals, you have to ask for them. It never hurts to inquire when booking travel plans for honeymoons. More often than not you'll find that people are willing to give you a deal simply because you're a newlywed! Even airlines, upon availability, will bump you to first class simply because you're a newlywed. So ask questions...it's not being cheap or frugal. Honeymoons are a privilege, and if you can afford to go on one, make it the best it can be!

**How are you planning on saving money? Did you get an upgrade or a special deal simply because you were a newlywed? Share your tips and info here for current and future brides!

Love,

The Emily Weddings Team

Photo Credits:

Groupon.com

Honeymoonwishes.com

He Registered For What?...

A wedding registry is one important task on any planning checklist. It gives a couple the opportunity to register or "request" specific items that may or may not be necessary to begin a marriage and furnish a new life/home. For many brides, the usual kitchen utensils or appliances, china, flatware even home decor are enough to overwhelm any registry list. For grooms, Mikasa and Waterford are meaningless names in a sea of "I don't cares". And to be perfectly honest, it's quite normal for a man to shutter at the thought of spending his entire afternoon parading through aisles of home decor and linen.

We've all heard the story...a couple creates a registry, the bride usually controls what items are ultimately scanned for the list, but the groom would rather find enjoyment scanning random and miscellaneous items just for the fun of it. In the end, the bride may or may not realize what her hubby-to-be has done until it's too late...Items can include (but are in NO WAY limited to...)

Toilet Paper....lots and lots of it...

PlayStation/Xbox...

That sweet Margarita machine..(while amazing, it's very expensive and a little unorthodox)

Motor Oil...

Condoms..(yes, it does happen)

Books for Advice (such as.."How to Deal With Your Crazy In-Laws!")

Overall, it's important to keep it classy. Believe it or not, people make judgements about a relationship based off of the items registered (it truly says a lot about a person's priorities). It's important to figure out what you "need" as a couple and what you would just "like" to have. And if you're going to let your honey hold the scanner...you may want to double check the registry print out = )


** We love hearing about funny items that "just happened" to wind up on your registry. = ) Share your funny stories here!

Love,

The Emily Weddings Team

DON'T DIY Friday: Cake Wrecks!

We've heard this many times over. You have a sweet Aunt who just absolutely loves baking and has been making you cakes all throughout your childhood. While the idea of allowing your sweet Aunt to make this beautiful staple to your wedding day sounds sentimental and cost efficient, let's think about how you'd like your cake to look and if your sweet Aunt can deliver. Don't forget, your cake will be photographed countless times throughout the day!

By all means, if you've seen the work of anyone who you contract to bake and decorate your wedding cake and you trust that the results will be beautiful,  go for it. But let these pictures be a reminder of the "what if" scenarios should you choose to hire a non-professional or just let a sweet and generous family member take on the task.

♫ Unforgettable...♫

Unforgettable...

 

 That's what you are...

Unforgettable!

Beyond subpar!!

Like a song of Love, that CLINGS to me...

How the thought of you does things to me..

Never before...has something been mooore...

Unforgettable!!

In every way...

And forever mooore....

They'll rue the day!

That's why darling..

It's incredible..

That a wreck...

So unforgettable...

Could also be so...

...dang inedible toooo!!!

♫ Apologies to Nat King Cole = ) ♫

We encourage you to truly research whoever you choose to make your wedding cake, as the results could be devastating.

Virginia Beach Brides-We have incredibly talented bakers in the area! Who have you decided to use to make your beautiful wedding cake? We want to hear all about 'em!

Love,

The Emily Weddings Team

All photos courtesy of CakeWrecks, Song by the unforgettable Nat King Cole (with lyrics slightly adjusted by the author of Cake Wrecks).